Poetry: “Plastic Surgery Gone Wrong” (from September 2008)

Her Silicon implants burst

She just had to see a plastic surgeon

I’m sure you know she’s not the first

Now her problems have burgeoned

While she drank some booze

At a celebration

Her chest began to ooze

To ruin her libation

She always looked quite good

You know she was a dancer

She wanted to look better though

Now she has bad cancer

Her friend was somewhat plump

She had some liposuction

Her fat is in a dump

She missed her kid’s production

Kim paid through the nose for her rhinoplasty

Now red as a rose, her snout it looks quite nasty

Jim was quite obese, he had his stomach stapled

Now his gut’s the size of an egg,

No more pancakes doused with maple.

Jen almost did a flip when she was at the clinic

But they deformed her lip

When the collagen began to slip, no wonder I’m a cynic

Other girls have terrible scars

From getting nipped and tucked

Instead of becoming stars or driving fancy cars

They made it so their lives did suck

And for many they were out of luck.